What Is Your Trust Quotient?

Over the many years of our life we are encouraged not to trust others.  In fact, there are many sayings that circulate on reasons NOT to trust instead of why we should.   Our environment and experiences teach us from a young age to trust at our own peril.  Yet on the other hand we are encouraged to put our complete trust into various authorities without question.

Trust seems to be a topic that most of us have had to learn at one time or another.  You might even remember playing a game at school or a seminar where you were blindfolded, stand in front of a person and fall back, allowing that person to catch you.  I wasn’t very good at this game the few times I have participated.  1) My sense of falling backwards seemed more intense and I didn’t feel certain (trusting) the person would catch me, and 2) the one time I did allow myself to completely trust the person I ended up hitting the floor.

After a lot of thought on the word “trust,” I had an experience and amazing insight in what I now believe it’s all about.  This may not be new for some of you while others may glean something of value from my experience.

When you put your trust in someone; a child, significant other, family member, friend, spiritual leader, teacher, etc. and one day end up in a situation where you feel your trust has been broken, step back and look at it from another perspective.  Did the person break your trust or did they simply show you who they really are?  Did you have more expectations on them than they were offering?   Are you putting your hopes and beliefs into someone else to fulfill a personal need?

We don’t have to make the story any more than it is.   Just because someone wasn’t completely open and honest with you doesn’t mean you have to reign in your trust.  By doing so what do you gain?  Yes, we have pulled back our trust at one time or another and then became jaded feeling like we should never easily trust anyone again.

If someone hurts you in such a manner, let it go.  Be thankful for the awesome lesson and keep your beautiful heart open.  Trust opens doors!

Year after year I felt like people were constantly breaking/abusing my trust.  Year after year my heart became more closed and hesitant with people’s real intentions when they wanted to make me a part of their life.  As I began to realize how closed off this was making me, I gradually started opening my heart window to let in some fresh perspective.  In time I realized I was looking at trust from a distorted view.  Did anyone break my trust?  Nope!!  Because when someone now says or does something that I would have previously seen as a cause to be distrusting, I now see it as that person’s own issues coming out and they are not mine to take on.  Why volunteer to take on their baggage?  By being trusting and not becoming resentful or upset over events that once would have hurt me, I get to remain a free person.

There are a many opportunities in life where we experience trust.  I have found it’s also about not losing yourself to a guru, teacher, or anyone else.   Sometimes we put people on pedestals that never should have been there, nor asked to be there.  When we put faith into someone or something outside of ourselves, we lose ourself in that person and often end up being disappointed when they don’t end up being who we envisioned.

Trust is a lot like love.  You have to have it for yourself first before you can spread it outwards to others.  If someone hurts you, or breaks the trust you put into them, take a step back and look within to learn what happened.  Are you more upset because they didn’t end up being who you had hoped?   Once I realized I could say “thank you for allowing me this gift to see myself more clearly” then there was nothing left to be angry, upset or hurt over.

Give yourself a few moments to think about anyone you feel created distrust in your life.  What have they taught you about yourself?  Sometimes the biggest lesson is to see people for who they are instead of who we want them to be.

“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.”  ~ Isaac Watts

 “It is impossible to go through life without trust: that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself.”  ~ Graham Greene